This month is Multiple Sclerosis awareness month and we are hosting a fundraiser to support the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America.
See, our family has been significantly impacted by MS. For many years we kept that under the rug. Primm was diagnosed back when we were young kids, keeping her diagnosis secret for fear of losing her job supervising the art department at our local school district.
When Felicitas was 20 and attending UC Berkley, she was diagnosed with MS. Her symptoms presented as a lack of ability to balance or walk toe to heel, followed by blurred vision and batteries of medical tests 3000 miles away from family support.
Primm was able to live her life without much deterioration or exacerbated symptoms. Felicitas has not had that experience. After finishing Stanford Law School and while she was studying for the California bar, Felicitas’ symptoms became debilitating. She was living on a 3rd floor walk-up and was unable to traverse the flights without help. Self care like laundry and groceries were foreboding chores involving the need to rely on others.
We enlisted the help of a dear family friend, who traveled to Emeryville, CA where Felicitas was living. He was able to help pack her apartment and move her back to our community where eager family support was available to her.
Upon returning to The Berkshires, her symptoms continued to build momentum. A couple years of care-plan iterations, left a nursing home as our only option for the intensive care required for Felicitas' comfort. The first placement ended when Felicitas took the liberty to smoke weed in her room (long before that was legal).
Her second placement is where she resides to this day…. For over 20 years Felicitas has lived in a nursing home with tiled walls and an overarching scent of pee.
John visited her every day until his death in 2010. Primm didn’t like seeing Felicitas compromised but made a point to send cards and visit on holidays right up until her death in April 2013.
Sofia and I visit Felicitas as often as we can - you know, between covid and norovirus outbreaks… We bring fresh flowers, ice cream, Irish coffee and good humor.
She is usually in a good mood - with big smiles, has no short term memory - meaning she has no idea when we last visited. She loves music and sings along to all the songs she loved in high school.
Each year we create a monthly image in her honor for our Dolphin Studio Calendar. We use artwork she created before her illness stole her dexterity as inspiration.
Here's the thing. The people who do the actual care-taking for Felicitas LOVE her. They are under-paid angels on Earth. When we ask Felicitas how she is doing, she often exclaims 'I'm having the BEST year of my life!"
I throw my hands up and realize that as long as she feels well cared for and blissful the tiles and stink are not mine to judge.
We look forward to raising awareness and money to find a cure for MS with your help. The Dolphin Studio will be donating 15% of all sales from March 9 (Primm's birthday) through March 18th (Felicitas' birthday) 2025 to the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America.
Sarah Bell
March 10, 2025
Until now I didn’t know that Primm had MS and I admire the strength it took to keep that under wraps but am sorry she didn’t get to benefit from the community you all have made for Felicitas, through your visits and online. I am so glad Felicitas finds joy in her daily living and is cared for so well. The journey to where she is now sounds so hard for her and you all as the illness continued to interfere with her original plans, interests and goals.